Why I think Simon the princess should only use French Toilets in Tonga

 

Simon the Princess should only use French Toilets in Tonga?

Classification

Simon The Princess A.K.A (STP) has a history of needing to go to the toilet, and we all know he lives in Tonga, and needs to use the best Toilet, but which one? Today, we’re going to discuss why I think STP should only use the French Toilets.  

Why?

STP has a permanent case of Diarrhea (PD), making it essential to have a perfect choice, Tonga features a variety of Toilets, varying from American, to Azure Blue, to Cosmic and even toilets fragranced with fried rice, but out of all of them, French, is definitely the best choice. 

Study shows that French Toilets tend to lower the rate of needing to go to Toilet (NTGT) by 75%! Recent news has revealed that, after a close inspection to the pipes attached to it, and a comparison of more than a thousand people,  the beloved Iron and Diamond alloy Toilet, (which was long believed to be the best), only lowers the NTGT by 50%. 

When sat on, the French Toilets cause your brain to release an enzyme which lowers your levels of stress. However, due to its cost, many people disagree on using The French Toilets, but here is my solution. 

Answer to cost?

In 2020.69 there was a donation committee aiming to fund research on PD, however, less people have been willing to fund this cause. Sadly, STP has recently gotten his Gluteus Maximus damaged due to low concentrations of French. So I ask this, please fund the cause for research on PD. Call 021 69 420 now!

Example?

In 1999, there was an incident where Joe Astley, a man with cancer, eczema, blindness, ascma, deafness and a loss of a right arm, had used a French Toilet, only to come out with a perfect face, the right amount of limbs, and relieved from his diseases, scientists even analyzed that organic things around Joe Astley have had a 100% increased life expectancy.

Conclusion?

With enough funding, we can relieve STP from PD in just a few minutes. Please, help make French Toilets allow world-wide access, because all it takes is a quick, poo... in the loo.